Author's note:  This story is silly and short and probably pointless and actually kind of dirty, but it's mine and it's at least mildly amusing.  If you are affiliated with the Monkees: please don't sue me.  If you are not: please review.

Peter H. Thorkelson was in an excellent mood when he sat down to meditate on a cloudy Monday morning.  He was just about to reach his existential goal, and his bandmates were otherwise occupied at the moment; totally unable to distract him.  He had also learned how to tie his shoelaces that day.  He moved himself into position on the bandstand and closed his eyes.

Breathe in, breathe out.  Breathe in, breathe out.  Breathe in, breathe –

“BLOODY BUGGERING HELL!”  A voice rang out across the pad, breaking Peter’s concentration and causing everyone to look up from what they were doing.

Davy stormed down the staircase, a gaggle of girls in tow.  “Now I know I’m unbearably attractive, but this is just ridiculous.  All of these girls were hiding in my closet.  We need to move to a building with a doorman, I’m tellin’ you!” he said.

Mike sat up from the couch, where he had either been contemplating mortality with his eyes closed or taking a nap.  He surveyed the girls quizzically.  “Davy, there are at least a dozen girls there,” he stated.

“Fourteen,” Davy corrected, “What’s your point?”

“How did they all fit in your closet?”

That made Davy pause for a moment.  “I really have no idea,” he finally said.  The girls all giggled.

“Fellas,” Peter began to plead, with a slight whine, but was cut off by Micky coming in from the garage.

“What happened?” Micky said, “I was in the garage, trying to figure out why the car was making that funny noise and I heard this girlish scream…oh, it was just Davy?  Nevermind.”  The girls all giggled again.

“Ha, ha,” Davy said sarcastically, “Your wit astounds me Micky.”

“So what’s with all the chicks?” Micky asked, noticing them for the first time.

“They were hiding in me closet!” Davy said.

“Really?” Micky said ponderously, “How did they all fit?”

“That’s what I said,” Mike, er, said.

“I mean there’s got to be at least a dozen of them,” Micky said as he circled the group of girls, sizing up the situation.

“Fourteen,” Mike, Davy, and Peter said simultaneously, the last with more than a little exasperation.

Mike had gotten up from the couch at this point and was surveying the girls along with Micky.  They began to toss out theories explaining the fourteen girls in the closet phenomenon.

“Maybe they tunneled in.”

“Maybe the closet has a false wall in the back that we never noticed before.”

“Maybe there’s a vortex in the closet!”

“Micky, now you’re just being ridiculous, there is not a vortex in Davy’s closet.”

“AAAAGH!” Peter had obviously had enough, “I am trying to transcend space and time here, so will you three just STOP IT!  Who cares how the girls all fit in Davy’s closet; there are girls in Davy’s closet every week, so what does it matter?”

“Oh but Peter, it matters a great deal,” Micky said gravely, “We need to get to the bottom of this conundrum.”

“Say, I have an idea,” Mike said to Micky with a scheming smile, “Why don’t you and I take the girls upstairs and try to put them back in the closet.  Maybe we can solve this problem by working backwards.”

“That sounds like an excellent idea, Mike,” Micky said as he wiggled his eyebrows.

“Now Davy, Peter,” Mike said to the other two, “This experiment will be very delicate, so you must stay out of the room.  Even if you hear crashes and screams.”

“Especially if you hear crashes and screams,” Micky giggled.

Micky and Mike then ran up the stairs faster than Davy or Peter previously thought possible, with the girls right behind them.  They slammed the bedroom door shut, behind which the girls could be heard giggling again.  Davy and Peter sat quietly for a moment.

Davy finally spoke, “Mike, Micky, and the fourteen girls are going to have an orgy in my closet aren’t they?”

“It looks that way.”

“Fuck.”

THE END

Author's Final Note: So I've realized that for a story entitled "Peter's Plight" there really isn't a whole lot of Peter in it.  Oops.  I think my next story will be called Mike and Micky's Mishap.  It will take place at the pad, but Mike and Micky will spend the entire time at the supermarket.